My reason for writing

My son, Clifton.  My inspiration for writing.
Date of Death: August 19

Kids Die too.

I hope by reading this page you will love your child more today than yesterday.  I hope you find hope and will be inspired to live life to its fullest.  Bereaved parents don’t always grieve the same or at the same pace.  I vividly remember standing back and watching a bereaved mom and dad volunteer at my daughter’s school.  Smiles appeared on their faces.  Pasted and posed?  Probably.  But nonetheless, they had  smiles on their faces.  They gave me hope that maybe someday I could smile again, too.  My heart still aches and sometimes is overtaken with grief, but the pain isn’t as intense as it once was.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I can cry at the drop of a hat, but I can also muster up a smile without all the guilt.  Bereaved parents experience so many feelings and sadly, relationships come and go.  I hope that you will allow yourself time to grieve if need be, and recognize that your life will never be the same.  Life will suck if you let it, but try to live again.

Recently printed: Number 19, a book written about my son’s football game and in hopes of giving peace and comfort to those who have also lost a child

6 responses to “My reason for writing

  • catherine hart

    I love this, thank you for sharing. My mind races all around when I try to think of or understand what and how a bereaved parent feels. I hope it helps you heal in a way that you can heal.

  • Tom Wintle

    Kathy, I believe time and sharing are great healers of pain.Your writing is great. keep it up and maybe a book is in the offing!

  • Dana Barror

    You have a tremendous strength and I feel blessed to have known you these last 30 years! I don’t think I ever told you; but, you were my inspiration back in 2003 when my daughter left me to go live with her dad 1000+ miles away. I remember asking the therapist “why/how an unselfish act could be so painful”; but, at the same time, I realized my pain didn’t come close to what you experienced when you lost Clifton. Although, I could never imagine what it’s like to lose a child through death, your life experiences definitely helped me put my life into perspective. I’m so happy to see you are willing to share your experience with others…I’m sure they will benefit in ways such as I have!

  • Le Roux Verley, Manu

    I did not know you have been experiencing a child’s death and I can understand that this drama will be a part of you all your life long.
    When I was 12, one of my brothers died just before his 10th birthday.The one in the middle of a 5 kids family.

    It took some time before my parents “recovered”, even with 4 kids still around, a strong faith and a fierce willingness to live nevertheless, one was missing for us all; Everyone of us has kept fond memories of him, not grieving, just a smiling presence sometimes in our daily lives.
    His unfair departure helped us a lot, as teenagers and young adults, to differentiate important things from minor ones. He is part of my personality and I am sure that your older children feel the same.
    As my first niece was born, 20 years later, my mom declared she was now healed; and in fact this new birth relieved her pain. she has a strong relationship with my niece.
    I wish you the very same sunshine in life.
    Lots of love from your French friend

    PS : I really enjoy the way you write things and hope you will post news from China.

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  • Mdixon

    You’re blog is so touching and memorable it makes me want to cry

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